radical quaker activist grrl of the rockies

I almost cut my hair (and then I did)

2006-11-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I blogged [a word, I have confidence, that does not appear in a circa 1970 dictionary]. Every attempt to un-dye my hair black being unsuccessful, I decided to shorten it. I'm thinking of making it even shorter. Once upon a time, in my radical dyke days, it was 1 inch long and spiked. I've tired of my unkempt hippie look, but I know myself well enough that I don't have the patience to dress much differently.

My indecisive hairstyle goes with my neither-here-nor-there mood. I'll be done with my Peace & Justice degree in a year (Jan '08). I've done pretty well to spend the past several years just living day-to-day, but now I'm getting antsy. Do I want to move to San Francisco for a Master's in Activism & Social Change (and be an in-the-streets radical grrl again)? Do I want to go to Fordham in NYC or BC in Boston for law school (and work my way into the Center for Constitutional Rights as a civil rights paralegal)? Do I want to stay in Denver and help Regis build a world-class Peace & Justice Center? Pros and cons all around. Those of you who know my propensities to look for new adventures while craving long-lasting community might understand my turmoil. Some of you might counsel me (once again) to stop thinking so far ahead and enjoy the now. But here's the rub -- I need to fulfill a language requirement for my degree, and I'm stuck. Do I refresh my French (useful in many places, but not Colorado), or do I start learning Spanish (mucho handy in Denver, but will definately screw up my French for good)? Either way, I'll be at Metro this summer for either one. It's not an easy decision, because it feels like committing to one of my three plans before I'm ready.

Any advice?

click here for my latest project!

2006-10-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

I'm going to Fort Benning, Georgia again this year, to join 19,000+ voices in nonviolent protest of the School of the Americas/WHINSEC -- a place run by the U.S. military that trains Latin American soldiers on ways to kill, disappear, and intimidate people.

If you feel, as I do, that such a "school" has no place in a world of peace, justice and beauty, please consider a contribution to this cause. Contact the folks listed on the invite, or just email me and I'll get right back with you.

We are also doing yardwork in exchange for donations -- no job too small! Please contact Kristine Dyrsten (303.594.1651, spatula5000@yahoo.com) to schedule us.

The Rocky Mountain SOA Watch group will be there November 17 - 19, 2006 to say NO MAS! NO MORE! We will shut this place down!

food really IS love

2006-09-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

today was a wonderful Sunday. I went to Meeting, socialized with friends old & new, shopped at the lovely grocery store Sunflower, then came home and made blueberry muffin for tomorrow's breakfast, then roasted pesto chicken, wild rice, and fresh beets for dinner. thanks to one of my roomates, we also had a nice bottle of red wine.

I've received a few messages from my sweet readers, expressing concern after my last post. thank you all so very much. in the space I'm in at this very moment, so far away from that emotional ball of nothing, it's hard to remember that I am sometimes that person. everyting I said was true then, but it's not true now. I adore my life, and the people in it. I wouldn't trade a moment of my past for an infettered soul today -- it wouldn't be authentic.

there is one thing that puts a smile on my face, and always has. I L O V E F O O D ! I love shopping for it, I love planning meals, I love cooking food, and I definately love eating. today, I was able to devote hours to food, in all it's stages. I don't have anything profound to say. just that I appreciate the love and support that you all give me, and that today I touched my bliss. tonight, I am very happy.

namaste,
~~elle~~

Ebbs & Flows (guess which I'm in right now?)

2006-09-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

I just re-read my last entry. I want to extend my heartfelt appreciation to Carol & TJ, who left sweet comments.

but.

I can re-read the words, but I can't recapture the emotion. F U C K. earlier today, I was previewing my playlist for my campus radio show tomorrow. this one song called "Ruby's Shoes" is about the first little black girl to be intergrated into the public schools in New Orleans. I was reading my law book and typing away on my outline, and then BOOM my face wrinkled up and I started sobbing. I thought, I have too much to do, I can't feel that way right now. and so I forced myself to continue typing and reading that damn law book. and for most of the rest of the day, I've been numb. I put a photo of the beer I'm drinking because, shit, I don't know, because it's all I'm really feeling at this moment. no, that's not right. it's all I'm allowing myself to feel right now. because brewing just under the surface is sorrow. I'm afraid if I let it go, I won't be able to stop. and I'm "well" now, so I have responsibilities and people rely on me to do what I say I will do. post-traumatic stress disorder sucks fucking ass. just a week ago I was so peaceful and joyful. it's actually so much easier when you are sick. I mean, in that space when you are trying to get it together but it works about half the time. people aren't really let down when you fail, and they are really happy when you make it work. that's what's so fucking hard about having PTSD. when everything is humming along, you forget that you exist on the edge, and when that trigger makes you tumble down into the morass, you are stunned, because you forgot what happens to you when you aren't on guard. you forget that your soul can get lodged in your bladder an make you double over with pain. and you forget that your brain doesn't work right and you could leave your hand over a flame and wouldn't feel it burn.

you forget that some really horrible things have shaped your life into this utter despair and weakness and the person that people think of when they hear your name is only the facade that you project to make this life bearable.

joyful grrl

2006-09-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

I am feeling so incredibly blessed! The Regis showing of Gandhi (part of the nation-wide screenings by the Dept. of Peace campaign) was a wonderful night. My partner in nonviolence (TJ) and I were able to reach out to all the justice-focused campus clubs, we had the sole non-corporate food vendor on campus sell goodies, and thirty people signed up for the Peace & Justice Club! I would be doing campus organizing regardless, but I feel so supported and valued at Regis. Tonight is an importnat milestone for me, I'm realizing as I type. Last year's SOA trip was about me facing my demons after Seattle, and proved to me the power of nonviolence and reverence. It was internal. Tonight was the budding of the seed that Camp Casey on the Quad planted seven months ago. Tonight, I felt all my labor of love, all my turmoil, all my loving kindness blossomed into a chorus of "Yes!" and "I remember that" and "I will help create this world" that rang out from the Regis campus. I think that , since the first time I left ELF, I feel part of community. I don't think I've even publicy owned my involvement with ELF before. I'm smiling as I'm seeing that I really have closed that chapter in my life :~)

What a beautiful, beautiful thing!

namaste

The Crusader Alliance -- the U.S., the U.K., and Israel

2006-07-27T07:32:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else yell at their radio speakers? I can't bring myself to listen to NPR much anymore. Their one-sided Zionist bullshit is like a rolling boil under my toes. don't those blabbering hosts ever wonder WHY Israel is always warring with another nation? Could it be because the U.S. keeps giving them weapons? Or maybe because Israel is always trying to take over land where people live (land that was not part of the post-WWII guilt-induced-land-grab-kick-those-Arabs-out that created Israel in the first place). Why, when the current war in Lebanon is being discussed, is the precipitating event always the capture of two Israeli soldiers? Like NOTHING happened before then? Nothing like the 1947-49 Arab-Israeli War (when the Lebanese government sided with Palestine against Israel)? Nothing like the 1978 invasion by IDF (Israeli Defence Force)? Nothing like Hezbollah (the "bad guys") forming in 1982 to combat the Israeli occupation of Lebanon?

Do you know who the terrorists are? Question: Is Hezbollah killing Lebanese people? Oh, they aren't? Huh. Oh well, NPR told me that that they are terrorists. So I guess they must be. Thank God (TM) I don't watch Fox News -- who knows what twisted ideas I'd have about the world.

Here's some history on Lebanon Read it for yourself. And listen to Democracy Now radio.

Choices

2006-07-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

So I returned from my cross-country adventure about ten days ago. I've intended to write, but my head is a little spinny. So many experiences, both large and small, and it's been hard to focus on one and be coherent. I've been very emotional, too. Yesterday, at Taza de Cafe (the best coffeehouse in NW Denver, btw), I was showing Burke some photos from Arlington National Cemetery. I had never been, and I learned about a week before we landed in the D.C. area that Tenzin Denghkim (whose cross seemed destined for my hands at Camp Casey on the Quad, see posts from March '06) is buried there. I was telling Burke about seeing a funeral procession -- horse-drawn carriage, military band, 21-gun salute, the mother walking behind her son's flag-draped casket in a broad black hat and tea-length gown. I broke down. Sobbing. Why is it that when I see such a moment, my heart breaks into a shard of sorrow for the family, another for the person whose last moment was filled with violence, and thousands of painful splintering jagged shards reminding me that my government is creating and perpetuating hate "in my name." But others see the same scene and say, simply, with head bowed but without a tear or a pang of responsibility, "Freedom isn't free."

The family that hosted us in Leesburg, Virginia, were absolutely wonderful. They had the cutest dog I've ever met (and that's saying alot) -- a Cocker Spaniel/Golden Retriever/Beagle mix that seemed to have springs for legs. [hopefully a photo will be forthcoming] He was all that golden color, with short hair around his back and sides but whispy hair, like fringe, around his stomach and between his toes.

I had a nice kitchen-table-visit with Patti and her 8-year-old son. Patti told me a story of them watching a TV program about the Sistene Chapel, in which she asked her son, "What do you think would be different if Michaelangelo had painted Jesus as a dark-skinned Middle Eastern man?" His only answer was a shrug. But the next day, when she picked him up from school, he said that he'd been thinking about it, and had decided that if Jesus wasn't shown as a white man "there wouldn't be a Klu Klux Klan." Out of the mouths of babes.

I've been sharing this story a lot since I came home. It speaks to me on several levels. We must plant the seeds of critical thinking in others, so that they may reflect upon history/herstory and not blindly accept the winner's accounting. We must recognize that our world becomes us -- what choices can we make that invite others to a dialogue, rather than divide us and shut down dialogue. And neither of those thing require anything more of us than talking with our friends and family. The seeds of loving kindness will sow themselves, if only we dare to blow them into life.

I ate one of the most spectacular dinners ever at the Beruit Restaraunt in Toledo, Ohio. I couldn't get enough of their cold bean salad, flavored with sage, or the roasted artichoke hearts. I put this food upon my (narrow) pedestal -- with Dali in Somerville, Mass, and Cafe Brazil in Denver -- as the best meals in my life. And as a serious foodie, this is my nudge to you to divert your own road trip to Toledo. They have an amazing art museum (free admission), and a minor league baseball team with a great logo (the Mudhens).

We were there at the Beruit with Tarek, a Lebanese American and a Toledo native, who told us about his trip to Beruit last year with delight. I woke up yesterday to the news that Israel had declared war on Lebanon and had already begun the destruction of Beruit's infrastructure. My first thought was of that wonderful food, and of the joy in Tarek's eyes when he described going "home" for the first time. And I want it to become law that, before a politican can send off the missiles or send in the troops, he be required to eat the food native to that place. And if he smiles in gastronomic delight during the meal, he is REQUIRED to stand the fuck down. Food is a culture's way of expressing itself. There is no culture without people, so killing the people is like rotting their uneaten food. I'm sorry, but The Dude cannot abide. Food is the greatest beauty -- it is universal (everyone eats) yet it has such diversity (compare land-locked Russian to coastal Brazilian). I know that not everyone is into food as I am, but I really don't understand. I mean, I get that cooking is a lot of work, and not everybody wants to COOK the food. But doesn't everyone want to EAT good food? And so, doesn't a person need to respect other cultures, if only so that one can get a chance to TASTE its food?

The only culture I can think of that has pretty crappy food -- food that is so bad, it would be no loss to the world if their culture was no more -- is ...

Who Would Julia Child Bomb?

(and no, it wouldn't be American fast food -- Saint Julia *loved* In-n-Out Burger)

Paul Proudehome for President?

Peace Bonds -- A Great Gift Idea!

2006-05-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of Nonviolent Peaceforce? It's an international federation that works on unarmed humanitarian peacekeeping. They work all over the world, in places like Sri Lanka, where the citizens are at risk from civil war and facism. Along with the United States Institue of Peace http://www.usip.org, NP keeps the spirit of Gandhi, Dorothy Day, MLK, and A.J. Muste alive.

NP is selling "Peace Bonds" for $10 to $500. These beautifully hand-drawn full-color cards act as donations for Nonviolent Peaceforce, and help to support their projects. Can you think of a gift that better shows the love you hold for all of the world?

The Coalesce Peace Bike Tour of 2006...

2006-04-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

...aka What I'm Doing On My Summer Vacation

Two hearty guys -- Darryl Purpose and Kevin Deame -- are biking from Los Angeles, California to Washington, D.C. Of course, "roughing it" in the digital age means guaranteed computer access and up-to-date blogging, so darryl & kevin have a RV sag wagon. Louise Taylor is driving LA - Denver, and I'm taking it eastward from there.

Why are they doing this? Well, Darryl & Kevin met on The Great Peace March of 1986, when 20,000 people WALKED across the country, to protest and call attention to the danger to humanity of nuclear power & weapons. This being the 20th anniversary, there is a reunion in D.C. for the participants. Darryl, now a professional musician, has a new album to support, and Kevin was itching for a meaningful vacation from his cyber-tech life. So they said, "Let's recreate the Peace March, but on bikes!" While no new nuke power plants have been built in the past few decades, there are plenty of things to worry about. The Coalesce Peace Bike Tour is not a fundraiser for any particular organization, but we will be doing some speaking/acoustic music events, and all the proceeds from those events will go to the local host organizations.

We have events planned in:
ALBQ, New Mexico
Omaha, Nebraska
Kansas City, Missouri
Chicago, Illinois
South Bend, Indiana
Pittsburg, Pennslyvania
Leesburg, Virginia

I'm handling the events coord., so if you are a peace group or acoustic music venue located between Chi-town and D.C. and would like to host Darryl & Kevin, please let me know & I'll get back to you right away.

You can visit the trip blog at:
http://www.darrylpurpose.com/cycle_blog/cycle_blog.html

peace, love & pedaling!

the comeback of the 80s -- not just a fashion thing

2006-04-20T11:20:00.000-07:00

being on a college campus today is a lot like being in high school in the mid-1980s. that I'm seeing things like this striped dress (can you say Jane Fonda Workout?) means that this particular fashion trend is on it's way out, given that I live in the Rocky Mountains, which is at least a year behind NYC. this is good. those of us who lived through the 80s the first time don't want to be forced to see bubble skirts and things like this:

as I was driving back from Old Navy last week (where I bought 3 pairs of shorts from the men's department, where pockets, comfort, and thigh coverage still hold value), I flipped the radio to FM, for a change of pace from my usual talk radio. yikes! everything on the FM side sounded like it was 80s-era bubblegum pop. the fashion AND the music? what the hell, people? that crap sucked then and it sucks now. why the re-tread? and that got me thinking. what does 2006 have in common with circa 1985? and then I got scared.

I got scared because the similarities are shockingly. both featured a second-term Republican president hell bent on foreign war (Reagan in Latin America and Bush in the Middle East) while forcing domestic policy run adrift and promoting the vilification of the powerless (Reagan blamed feminists & welfare mothers for social problems and Bush is working on doing the same with poor people of color). in both eras the mainstream media largely ignored/marginalized voices calling for peace & meaningful justice. and in both eras the general public was lulled into an attitude of apathy and ignorance.

I have a new appreciation for the vast right-wing conspiracy. damn, they're good! there is a lot more to say, but I need to get back to the fight. a fight which is not only about social justice, but also the intersection of pop culture & politics.

living with solidarity

2006-04-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

on Tuesday, April 11th, twenty-nine beautiful compassionate souls reported to federal prison. They were found guilty of violating the laws of the U.S. government, for crossing the line at Fort Benning, Georgia, at the annual School of the Americas/WHISEC protest/vigil. They were sentenced to time ranging from 60 days to 1 year for this illegal trespass.

I was there that Sunday in November 2005. I stood with 19,000 people and read the Pledge of Nonviolence, and I struggled with the competing desires to cross that line, take up the time of the military and the court system that seems to uphold their illegal behavior, and to be just a participant, and not a leader, in this event. The SOA vigil was my big test -- could I feel the solidarity of Black Bloc anarchists with Catholic priests and nuns, and *not* fall back on old patterns of "Bring It On!" ?

The SOA vigil was where I faced my demons from MCI Framingham (where I spent my 23rd birthday) and from Seattle '99 (where the chaffing plastic handcuffs made me long for the cold metal of old), and I returned to Denver most confident in my ability to live with intention, to feel injustice and fight them by example and not with my fists. Perhaps someday I will be able to cross that line for all the right reasons, leaving my ego and my selfishness on the pavement.

For now, my heart goes to those 29 people who are paying the government's ransom for living with moral conviction. Please write to them. Prison is a dehumanizing experience, designed to strip you of all sense of solidarity. A letter from a stranger really does make a difference.

The photo above is of Joanne Cowan, a Friend (Quaker) from Boulder, Colorado. She and I travel in many of the same circles, and, although I have met her I do not know her well. In her Statement to the Judge, Joanne wrote, "...I took direction from the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who suggested in a speech I read that there comes a time when to remain silent is criminal. I stand before you today so as not to be morally criminal, regardless if I'm found to be legally criminal by your judgement. ... Violence and love are mutually exclusive."

Joanne is serving a 60-day sentence. You may send letters to her at:
Joanne Cowan #92566-020
FCI Phoenix
Satellite Camp
37930 N. 45th Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85086

Unlike Joanne, who had a Clearness Committee (the Quaker way of making weighty decisions) process to carefully make the decision to cross the line before she even boarded the plane to Georgia, Donte Smith, 19 years old, seems to have made his decision to cross the line on the spot, driven by an "acute case of social conscience." Donte was sentenced to 3 months, plus a $500 fine. His address is:
Donte Smith #91436-020
FMC Fort Worth
Federal Medical Center
PO Box 15330
Fort Worth, TX 76119

You can read Donte's Statement to the Judge, as well as details for each of the 29, at www.soaw.org. If you live in the Rcoky Mtn region, please join the Yahoo Group "RMSOAW" which is led by Brendan McCrann, currently a Regis staff member in University Ministry. I know that there are other regional groups, so you can get involved no matter when your live. And the 2006 vigil at the gates of Ft. Benning will be held, as always, the weekend before Thanksgiving. I rank the experience as one of the most meaningful of my life, and urge you to look into how you can support our efforts to close the SOA/WHISEC (either with your money or your energy). Please contact me if you would like to purchase the 15-minute documentary on the 2005 Regis University delegation. It's a fundraiser for our annual trip.

peace.

Signing Statements

2006-04-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

WOW! mainstream media talking about Bush's strategy for thwarting democracy? this in today's Denver Post (www.denverpost.com):

editorial
President is not above the law

Maybe being president just goes to your head. Why else is George Bush signing bills into law accompanied by statements suggesting he can ignore certain provisions if he chooses?

The president's latest "signing statement" came March 9 with renewal of the Patriot Act, the law that provides government with broad surveillance powers. Patriot II was enacted by Congress after a long battle with the White House over expanded law enforcement powers. To obtain passage, the administration agreed to oversight provisions that included reporting to Congress.

On signing the bill, however, Bush quietly issued a statement asserting that he had the authority to ignore the oversight rules. He said he'd construe the act "in a manner consistent with the President's constitutional authority to supervise the unitary executive branch and to withhold information the disclosure of which could impair foreign relations, national security, the deliberative process of the executive, or the performance of the executive's constitutional duties."

Last year, Congress passed a law outlawing the torture of detainees in U.S. custody. Bush signed the legislation even though Congress did not include a provision he wanted giving the president the power to waive the torture ban. But never mind. His signing statement suggested he could bypass the law anyway, prompting Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid to say, "President Bush continues to believe he's above the law and above the Constitution ... [that the] unitary executive president can pick and choose which laws he will follow."

Poverty v. Immigration

2006-04-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

has anyone else noticed that our nation's mainstream media was beginning to seriously question the role of poverty in the (lack of) rebuilding New Orleans & the hurricane ravaged South, but suddenly dropped that story like a hot potato when Bush announced his new ideas for combating "illegal immigration" ?

the two choices are "build a fence" or "have a guest worker program" -- are you KIDDING me? c'mon people, if you are reading my blog, chances are you have a few progressive bones in your body. so please please please start talking about this with your friends & family, and write about it on your blog or to your local newspaper:

where is the discussion about WHY people risk arrest and death crossing the desert to find work in the U.S.? WHY can't they remain in Mexico and support their families? WHAT have U.S. corporations done to the local economies that they no longer function? if you aren't familiar with the term, or the condition of, maquiladoras, please do a web search. and then challenge the assumptions of journalists and friends when they say illegal immigrants are a drain on our society.

I'm thinkin' it's the other way around.

I'm also thinking that Boston has a very high number of illegal immigrants from Ireland. and in my 10 years in that city, I don't remember anyone saying that THEY were a burden on society.

oh, duh! they are WHITE. well, clearly that makes all the difference in the world. right?

y'know, we CAN keep pitting poor black people against poor brown people. or we could start talking about classism and capitalism and why middle-class white folks work against both groups.

we really could, y'know.

but it starts with you.

new photo

2006-03-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

vagabond grrl is back :~D

2006-03-27T21:52:00.002-07:00

two guys, one grrl, two bikes, and one winnebago.
(guess which one I'll driving)

why?
20th anniversary of The Great Peace March, one of the biggest events in recent peace & justice history. pretty cool, eh?

so, my cyber-friends, who is east of denver along the route to d.c., and will be around between may 15th and june 25th? hook a traveler up

regis banner

2006-03-26T01:33:00.000-07:00

figures -- I carry the darn thing for 90 minutes, and brendan (left) gets all the glory! (well, at least zack got credit) but it *was* a good burrito, thanks to Food Not Bombs.

btw, brendan is the contact for the rocky mountain regional School of the Americas Watch (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rmsoaw) yeah, he's a good guy. even if he does wear shiny leather dress shoes with jeans. geek. ;~)

annual peace & justice conference

2006-03-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

I attended this conference in 2005 (the "Engaging Empire" post). This post is just to get the word out that it's happening again, this time in New York City (yay! museums! mass transit! $10 french fries!), October 5 - 8, 2006. It also means, I'm pretty darn sure, that I will not be walking 3 miles on Saturday morning to get a freakin' cup of coffee (as happened to Heather & I in 2005 in Goshen, Indiana. note: do not attempt to feed a caffine addiction in the heart of Amish country.)

if you are a peace worker, I urge you to attend. this year's theme is "Who Speaks for the Common Good?"

elle is a pinko commie!

2006-03-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

...but you knew that ;~)

have I mentioned that we got counter-protested by the Campus Republicans? three yahoos set up lawn chairs directly across the quad from us. their signs said:

MY SUV (hearts) IRAQI OIL

and

HIPPIE HUNTING PERMIT

as this photo clearly demonstrates, those of us in Camp Casey on the Quad hate our nation. yup. that's what we were doing. hating on America. we should have been playing football (like the frat-boy Republicans) and planning our bar-hopping route (it was St. Patty's day).

in case you can't read it, my shirt has the Regis University motto (in both English & Spanish):

How Ought We To Live?

clearly the mark of a pinko commie, ain't it?

don't be an uninformed dippy-do like those young ignorant Republicans. for TRUE UNEMBEDDED NEWS on Iraq, Palestine, and other places where we Americans are screwing up, please visit
the Kuwiat News Agency
and Dahr Jamail's site

Camp Casey on the Quad -- more photos

2006-03-22T23:07:00.000-07:00

the amazing group of people who made Camp Casey on the Quad a reality: sarah, laura, me, dan, jim (foreground, in the red hat), eric

the two CCQ organizers not in the group photo are adrian (left) and james. this was taken at the rally on sunday.

oh, I just found out today that the Denver Post article about us was linked through www.michaelmoore.com -- on his "must read" page from Sunday, March 19, 2006. pretty freakin' cool, huh?

--------------------------------------------------------------

at the time that we began CCQ, there were 2,309 confirmed U.S. soliders killed in Iraq. (as of this posting, 10 days later, there are 2,322) we printed out the Dept of Defense list of names, and worked on putting a name on each cross. when we pulled the 2,309 memorials from the ground on Saturday, we could not bear to shut them up in a box. our entire purpose had been to open the boxes of lives destroyed by this war. and so we decided that we would hand out these crosses to people at the March 19th rally to End This War Now!

on Sunday, when I reached into the box that Eric held to choose the cross that I would carry with me, that day and forever, I was stunned to see that it was a name that I had written. and it was a name that, when I wrote it, I honestly paused and wondered "who was this person who died?" not that such a question shouldn't come to mind regardless. but this was a Tibetan name. Tenzin Dengkhim. and I wondered who Tenzin was, that he, a Tibetan, died fighting in the U.S. military, fighting a war that shared uncomfortable parallels with China's illegal occupation of Tibet.

tonight, I looked up Tenzin Dengkhim. he died April 2, 2005. he had been in Iraq less than one month. he was a Marine. he and his family had come to the U.S. in the 1990s. he enlisted in the Marines to earn money for college, and to learn skills that he could bring to the Tibetan struggle for independance. Tenzin was 19 years old. according to one source, before he left for Iraq, he prayed. not for his own life. he prayed that he would not take any lives. [which makes me wonder -- what does george w. bush pray for?]

Tenzin Dengkhim's story is why I will fight this war, and every other war, until I take my last breath. Tenzin wanted to be a freedom fighter. may his dream come in his next life.

Camp Casey on the Quad, Regis University

2006-03-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

so, I've been a little busy adding to my police file. there is so much to write about this experience of planting 2,309 white crosses and camping out for several days to show solidarity with the soldiers who can't go home to their families and creature comforts. I will update my blog soon, but for now, please look at the press coverage that we received:

Colorado Indymedia, Story 1 (Wednesday, March 15)
http://colorado.indymedia.org/newswire/display/12686/index.php

Colorado Indymedia, Story 2 (Friday March 17)
http://colorado.indymedia.org/newswire/display/12695/index.php

The Denver Post (Sunday, March 19)
http://denverpost.com/news/ci_3616902

for the lastest figures on casualities from Iraq, visit this site, which lists not only dead military personnel, but also the wounded and journalists & others who have been killed there:
http://www.icasualties.org/oif/

for the Camp Casey on the Quad webpage, go here

MUMIA!

2005-12-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

fantastic news! mumia abu jamal, a wrongfully convicted death row inmate, has won the right to appeal his case!

mumia is a wonderful writer, having published several books & poems while in prison. Death Blossoms is one of my favorite books. -- look it up!

Mumia is, sadly, just one of the many INNOCENT BLACK MEN on death row. visit www.freemumia.org or www.mumia.org to read about his story.

here's just a bit, which (I hope) is enough for you to investigate this yourself. remember, ANYONE can write a letter in support of someone on death row. please consider it.

Facts about Mumia's 1982 trial:
* The policeman was killed with a 44 caliber gun. Abu-Jamal's gun which he was licensed to carry as a night-time taxi driver, was a 38 caliber.

* The police never tested Abu-Jamal's gun to see if it had been recently fired. They never tested his hands to see if he had fired a gun. They have never shown Abu-Jamal 's gun to be the fatal weapon.

* No police officers present at Abu-Jamal's arrest claimed to have heard Jamal's "confession" until two months after it allegedly occurred. This was right after Abu-Jamal had filed police brutality charges.

* Abu-Jamal's doctor said that Abu-Jamal, who was unconscious, said nothing. He reported that a nurse found police with loaded guns pointed at Mumia as he lay unconscious in his hospital bed.

* William Singletary, a Vietnam veteran and local businessman, saw the whole incident and has testified that Abu-Jamal was not the shooter. However, the police forced him to change his story and intimidated him into leaving Philadelphia.

* Other key witnesses, such as Veronica Jones -- who now testifies in support of Abu-Jamal, were harassed into giving false testimony. Two prosecution witnesses were given special favors, including exemption from criminal prosecution, for their testimony.

Elements in an unfair trial:
* The Judge, Albert Sabo, sentenced more people to death than any other sitting judge in the US.

* The public defender didn't interview a single witness in preparation for the trial, and didn't have funds for defending a capital case.

* The prosecutor removed 11 qualified African Americans from the jury. He also argued for the death penalty because of Mumia's membership in the Black Panther Party, a practice later condemned as unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court.

* The racial bias of Philadelphia's courts has resulted in 120 people on death row, all but 13 non-white.

while mumia may yet see freedom, stanley tookie williams will not. he is scheduled for a state-sanctioned killing on December 13th. tookie formed the gang "the crips" in L.A. that's not a good thing. but since he's ben in prison:

* He has been nominated 5 times for the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in helping to prevent gang violence.

* He has been nominated four times for the Nobel Literature Prize for his children's books that warn young people about the pitfalls of joining a gang and exposes them to alternatives.

AND...
* He maintains innocence of the crimes he was accused of, and faced racist discrimination throughout his trial. One issue highlighted the fact that the prosecutor in Tookie's original case removed three African-American jurors from the jury. During Stan's trial, this prosecutor made racially-coded remarks during his closing argument, comparing Stan during the trial to a Bengal tiger in the zoo and stating that a black community - South Central Los Angeles - was equivalent to the natural "habitat" of a Bengal Tiger.

there was a movie made about him based on his autobiography, Blue Rage, Black Redemption

www.tookie.com

paris. speechless.

2005-12-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

I'm overwhelmed by school work. it's two weeks until finals, and I have several papers due in the next few days. I shouldn't even be spending this precious time adding an entry, but... this entry is for me even more than it's for you. I want to be close to this place. when I lived in paris, after my life fell apart in 1997, this was my sactuary. almost ever night, I would bring my bag of hot red bliss potatoes and a 10 franc bottle of wine to the park from which this photo was taken. I'd watch the sun set over the city. the darkness would descend, the families of tourists would be replaced by 20-something parisiannes in black leather getting their drink on before hitting the pubs and clubs. with a good buzz, I'd walk around montmarte (seen Amelie? the chase was in that neigbhorhood). there is nothing more powerful than walking alone at night in a beautiful European city when your life is in tatters.

I'm tearing up as I write this. I'm no longer in the present -- I'm feeling what it was to live in this city. the u.s. is my home, but paris means so much to me I can't even express it. if it weren't for paris, I wouldn't even exist. truly. it's where my grandmother grew up. it's where my parents met. it's where I ran away to when life got unbearable.

I came across this website. http://www.arnaudfrichphoto.com this guy's paroramic photos are unbelievable.

peace.

so many things to say....

2005-11-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

...so little time to say them. two weekends ago, I attended the Sabeel Conference in denver. there are several sabeel conferences held around the nation, all about engaging israelis and palestinians in a dialogue about the difficulties inherent in their political and religious struggles. it was very educational, in part because of a man who spoke about "christian zionism" I don't know if you've encountered this, but I have. when I worked the election booths last spring, I was paired with a woman who was eager to tell me about a book she was reading that said (paraphrasing) that christians needed to help jews "get rid of" all the palestinians, because only when the jews had total control of that region would jesus come back. I, of course, thought she was nuts. but at the sabeel conference I learned that, actually, there is an entire strain of thought along these lines. scary, huh?

there's more to tell, including what to say to someone who espouses this crap-o-la, but I have to get to class....

WATCH THIS FILM!!!

2005-10-14T00:03:00.000-07:00

I just got back from seeing the premiere of Michael Franti (of Spearhead)'s documentary of his experiences in Iraq, Israel & Palestine. This is, I kid you not, one of THE most important films and you really really really need to see it. It's tender and real and loving and painful and hopeful. franti said that they just finished the film yesterday, so I don't know when it will make it out, but check the website (click on this post's title), where it will be sold beginning in november.

rebecca walker last weekend
michael franti tonight
the sabeel conference next weekend
i am humbled by the blessings I receive

and I learned a new word tonight -- habibi (an arabic version of namaste)

peace & love y'all :~D

tigger grrl

engaging empire... and inspiration

2005-10-12T16:21:00.001-07:00

damn, it's been a while since I've written. sorry! school has been really busy. in fact, I should be studying for a Religious Studies exam tomorrow at 8.00 am, since that's one subject I don't have the ability to fabulously fake. but, that'll come.

anyway, I spent last week at this amazing conference., and I want to get this out for you all.

it was the annual gathering of the PJSA (peace & justice studies association) and the conference theme was entitled Engaging Empire -- In Solidarity. it began with bill & bernadine from the weather underground and ended with rebecca walker (who is not only brilliant, but incredibly charming, georgeous, and has one of the most calming demeanors I've even encountered). rebecca's talk was called "The Radical Possibilities of Openness" and her thesis was that the biggest problem in our culture is divisiveness, which stems from the concept of individualism. she said that politics is the cauldron in which individualism and divisiveness brews, that our habit of judging, picking, and choosing is opposite of openness, which is our most valuable resource. with apologies to Dr. King, she said that "endless negativity anywhere is a threat to peace everywhere."

I asked her a question about what you should do when you encounter people you can't just walk away from (like professors) who just don't get it, who are so deeply ingrained with hierarchy and patriarchy that you can't get to a discussion about openness. her answer was surprising, and was exactly what I've been longing for someone to tell me for years. the usual answer to that sort of question is either (1) just keep smashing your head against that wall and eventually you'll wear them down; or (2) an evasive "figure out what works for you" dodge. but she said that it's perfectly valid to "give up" on certain people. "do not be imprisoned by your identification as an agent of change" which is such a difficult thing to own. we activists tend to believe that if we don't do something, people will suffer. (which may or may not be true.) but the thing is, and what rebecca walker gave me permission to do is, say "hey, that sucks, but it's not something I can take on"

say it with me:

do not be imprisoned by your own identification as an agent of change

that's my new mantra

what a great way to spend four days :~)

btw, that paper I was struggling with? tim emailed me the following:
Thank you for your well written, well thought out, and well supported paper [Grade = 100/100]

(but now that I think about it, did I set the bar too high for myself? I have to write 4 more papers in this class! yikes!)

may you now find peace, Frances

2005-09-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been awhile since my last post. being a full-time student and a part-time employee is a hellavua lotta work! I don't remember it being this hard the first time. but then again, when I was first in college I didn't really sleep. I was talking with another friend, in her mid-thirties, who is also back in school. she agreed that it seems like more work the second time around, but she thought that maybe we just take it more seriously now.

I certainly feel that I have a greater responsibility to refute assumptions from professors or fellow students that seem to be rooted in classism or mysogyny. for the most part, my fellow students are very open to hearing the old hippie grrl's ideas. there is a guy in one of my classes who is really working on himself -- it's beautiful to watch him struggle with the words that express his own ideas but that don't promote old stereotypes. I gave him props in class the other day -- I certainly don't recall any 20-year old guy at harvard in 1990 challenging his own assumptions like that. way to go rob! :~)

I'm still struggling with my leadership class. the title is "leading in the global community: leadership, culture, & ethics" but the professor is *sooooo* dominant paradigm (mid-forties, white, attractive, upper-middle class, married homeowner with no kids, former successful business owner)! there is no global perspective in this class at all. tim seems to think that, because American companies became multi-national corporations and expanded into "developing" nations, a global perspective is simply one that includes the understanding that capitalism and American "democracy" are expanding throughout the world. the term "cultural relativism" is not in his vocabulary. he's actually said that globalism is a great thing, that countries like Haiti (which he visited for 2 weeks so he feels qualified to use it as an example) have been "greatly improved" through globalism. he's also said that "capitalism is not the enemy" (obviously he hasn't read anything outside of the Wall Street Journal, The Economist, and Grover Norquist in the past 20 years). I struggle with my own reaction to this instructor. my gut reaction is to dismiss him as an idiot. but that's not fair, because it's not his fault that he was born into priviledge, has always lived on the "right" side of the tracks, and has either been in school (he's now working on his PhD) or been a business owner for his entire adult life. the system works for him. he's never been exposed to the pain of being poor, black, female, non-Christian, queer, or whathaveyou in the United States. it's not his fault he's ignorant. it is, however, irresponsible of him to be teaching a class in an area that he has zero ability to understand. (although I think it's more irresponsible of the university to approve of his teaching it.) I have my first paper in this class due thursday. it's been a struggle to write a measured response to the classist bullshit of our main text (the one I quoted in an earlier post, about elitism; trust me, the book DOES NOT get better). but thanks to Byron, my peace & justice professor, I've found a way to be both authentic and to critique the author's assumptions.

I have three professors who are wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful people, and just the one who is a poor teacher. not bad, really. and, it's not like the world is free of "tims", so it's a good education that challenges me to express myself in a coherent and persuasive way to someone with such limited knowledge of the world. besides, I am highly motivated to earn an "A" in this class, or at least to craft my papers in such a way so that for him to say that it's not A-level work would create suspicion that he graded down due to my political views and not because of my writing skills. which are pretty frickin' good, if I do say so myself. ;~P

my struggles with tim are similar to my struggles with death penalty advocates. I'd like to think that most of you have heard of Frances Elaine Newton, but chances are many of you haven't. please read her story (this posting's title is a hotlink). it's important to know what injustices are happening. if we don't educate ourselves, how can we be effective agents of change? Frances was exectued in texas a few days ago, ostensibly for murdering her husband and children. even though evidence suggests otherwise. she was not awarded a new trail, even though her lawyer said, on the record, that he assumed she was guilty so he didn't do anything on her case except show up in court (btw, he has LOST every single death row case he's represented. all 16.) the entire case rested upon the fact that she had taken out a life insurance policy a few months prior to the killings. an insurance policy that she got at the same time she got auto insurance. to replace the life insurance policy she used to have, but had to drop because she couldn't afford it. my dear friend Wise Crow lives in texas, but even so I gotta say I'd really like to force the state of texas out of my country. aside from a handful of people (Ann Richards, my women's studies teacher, and paige & kendall among them), has anything positive ever come from texas? putting mentally retarded people on death row? gerrymandering congressional districts? inflicting G.W. on the entire world? c'mon texas -- to the rest of us, you're the scary uncle we never want to visit. their motto shouldn't be "don't mess with texas", but rather "have a mess from texas". know also that there are many people on death row, both in texas and other states. do a www.dogpile.com search for a state's department of corrections to find out who. some of them ARE NOT guilty. I don't know which ones (okay, I know Mumia Abu-Jamal is innocent), but it's just the law of averages that some didn't do the crime. you can write a letter on behalf of anyone. and if you live in the state, you can put pressure on your governor, your state officials. you can even get involved with visiting prisoners on death row. just think of what an amazing gift that is. some inmates don't see a visitor for YEARS. can you even imagine that. of course not. we humans are social creatures. we need social contact. the thought of what these folks deal with makes me sick. here in the denver area, the new foundations nonviolence center has a prisoner visitation program, but I know there are similar programs across the country. if that doesn't work for you, there are also book programs that get reading material into the hands and minds of those behind bars. check it out. http://www.prisonbookprogram.org/ they even have a (slightly out-of-date) blog here: http://prisonbookprogram.blogspot.com/

I am sorry to leave y'all on a serious & depressing note, esp. after my last post (hey tigger grrl, didn't you say that you love to laugh?) but I really gotta do some schoolwork. 'cuz I'm gettin' the highest grade in the class on my paper, dammit! :~)

peace,
tigger grrl

new orleans: livin' the American dream

2005-09-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

please tell me that you are watching, hearing or reading the daily reports on www.democracynow.org Amy Goodman, one journalist who actually gives a shit, isn't letting this story fade away. today she did a segment on Prometheus Radio's attempts to set up a low-powered FM radio station in the Houston Astrodome so that refugees can find out things like when they will be bussed out, where they will go, where family members are -- you know, stuff that is just a teensy weensy bit more important than what happened on the latest (un)reality show. the FCC, I was stunned to hear, granted them an emergency transmitting license in 2 days. but. (of course there's a but) there is some person "in charge" who believes that the Astrodome is her personal fifedom and she will not let them set up the radio station in the stadium. the radio folks have been jumping through all the hoops this woman has set, and they still aren't being allow to broadcast even though the FCC fer crissake says they can. I don't think this story made it on Fox News.

I listen to Democracy Now! every morning (7 - 8am, on 1390 AM in Denver, CO). for the past three days, I've been overwhelmed, feeling a hole in my gut, choking on tears in my pillow. every day. the same feeling. shame. I feel shame.

I feel so much fucking shame to have ANYTHING, anything at all in common with the classist racist fucks that created the human destruction in new orleans. you might say to yourself, well, grrl, you don't have anything in common with them so don't worry. but, you see, I do. you do. we all do. see, I'm an American. I'm white. I pay federal taxes* (see end of post) sure, I recycle. I vote in every single election, every year. I write & publish articles to translate that nonsensical bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo into words almost anyone can understand. I get into conversations with strangers about politics. I'm an activist, agitating for change, for equality, in every arena I can. I'll tell anybody who asks (and probably some who don't) that I'm a radical. politically, economically, socially, sexually radical. but still. I feel ashamed.

I want to be clear, though -- I do not feel helpless. oh no, if anything, I'm more energized today than I was yesterday, or six weeks ago, or two years ago. I am more committed to my life, to your life, to our collective lives as creatures of beauty and love than I have ever been, ever. those of you who know some of my history might be thinking that I've been really really committed in the past. and you'd be right. but. but I think this is bigger. I still have the passion, the determination, the brazenness that I've shown throughout most of my life. but the difference is that now I'm gaining the spiritual depth. being Buddhist for a decade taught me a lot about myself, things I needed to explore. an I am so very grateful for the gifts buddhism has given me. since I've been part of Quaker meetings, though, I've been challenged in a new way, challenged to move along in my personal development. one critique of Gandhi was that by being so inwardly focused, he became a bit self-indulgent. I think that's the part of Quaker meeting that just melts my heart. it is a place to LISTEN to things greater than yourself. listen to yourself, certainly. but to listen also to each and every soul in that room. to listen to The Spirit. without judgement. it teaches me, too, to reflect for not just seconds but for minutes on my words. group silence is the most powerful thing I've ever felt. but, unlike sitting in buddhist meditation, Quaker meeting is not individuals sitting in silence together. it is a group of people who sit together. mostly in silence, but who are free to speak if she feels so moved. the cultural norms are different. but this wasn't suppsed to be about me. it's about Hurrican Katrina...

devastating hurricanes happen all the time (in other countries). last year, Cuba had a class 5 hurricane. Castro evaculated every single person in the projected path (as in, he knew ahead of time that a bad one was coming). one-and-a-half million people evacuated. NOT ONE LIFE WAS LOST. and Castro's the "bad guy"?

Bob, I'd like to exchange President Bush for what's behind door number two. think maybe it's a monkey? a monkey would work.

peace,
tigger grrl

* on the issue of paying taxes: I began to think today that it's time to become a tax resister. it made me sick to my stomach to think that my paltry but hard-earned money was in any way shape or form going to people who are not only trigger happy to kill brown foreigners, but are also happily starving black people who are law-abiding citizens of THIS country. (did you hear that Barbara Bush said that those in the Astrodome are fortunate to be there because they didn't have it so good before? compassionate conservative my ass!) but I don't think I can get college loans if I don't have an income tax return. and I sure as shit don't have the money to pay for school on my own. so, what's the greater good here -- withhold my taxes and end up homeless again, or stick with school so I can build the community cafe of my dreams? maybe it's a selfish cop-out, but right now, I'm going with school.

Chief Justice Rehnquist Dies at His Home

2005-09-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

oh fuck!
shit!
aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

I mean, it's not like I didn't think Rehnquist would leave the Supreme Court while Bush was still in office. it's just that I was hoping it wouldn't happen until after the Democrats in D.C. grew some cojones and would actually challenge the next nominee ('cuz Buddha knows they won't be saying boo about Roberts. who, by the way, is rabidly anti-choice, no matter what CNN & Fox News say) rumor is that Bush won't elevate one of the existing Supreme Court justices to Chief Justice. instead he'll appoint someone else who is not already on the court.

get ready for the culture wars, grrls!

you know you're a masochist when...

2005-09-03T21:09:00.000-07:00

so, this undergrad degree thing. what the hell was I thinking? sure, I like a challenge, like 'em more than the average bear I'd say. but after spending the past 4 hours reading a book on "Servant Leadership" that is some of the most arrogant idiotic drivel I've ever read (and believe me, I've read a lot of books in my time), I'm wondering if I've taken on an actual challenge or if I just really like the feeling of smashing my own head into concrete.

Regis has a program specifically for adult learners. but nope, I wanted to be in the traditional college. with kids what are young enough to be my kids. I'm 7 years younger than one of my professors, and I'm actually older than another. I felt that most of the folks who go to "adult college" are there mainly because they need to have the degree in order to progress in their careers. I wanted to be with folks who were really jazzed about being in school. plus, I was hoping to meet one of two people who would want to do a little culture jamming.

I'm really unused to the concept of sitting down and keeping quiet. two decades of being an activist will do that to a grrl. but there are sooo many generational differences between my classmates & me that I find myself thinking, "Is this the topic I want to challenge, or do I want to wait to see what happens in the next five minutes?" 'cuz you know that when the mid-thirties hippie-radical-feminist-activist-with-armpit-hair raises her hand, it's not going to be to say what somebody else was thinking. it just isn't.

but, what goes on in my brain doesn't get much company anyway. so, really, how different is this school thing? my friend Micky is going through the same deal. she's a first year law student at University of Denver (not a school known for it's progressive politics), and she's going to be a civil rights lawyer (but she's really smart -- not only is she actually getting a graduate degree [unlike yours truly], but she's on full scholarship, so she won't be in debt forever [unlike yours truly]. told ya she was smart ;~)

anyway, Micky & I were talking today about, essentially, being round fish in a square pond. micky's an awesome third-wave feminist, a Buddhist, and a progressive activist. I tell you, if you're going to do something as wacky as get a 2nd bachelor's degree with students half your age, it really helps to know someone doing something even harder than you are to give some perspective. and to tell you that you won't be reinforcing the hairy radical dyke feminist stereotype for those 19-year-olds in your Women's Studies class by speaking up about what it was like to fight tooth & nail to wear pants. PANTS, FER CRISSAKE! I'm not talking about some wack stripper outfit. I mean like your normal Levi's, with two legs and a zipper in the middle. (one of my high school teachers insisted that all the girls cross our legs. he'd take points off if we didn't.) it's hard to relate to young women who've grown up without having their gender be that big of an issue. I guess that's why so few of them identify as feminists. it scares me, though. political apathy is one of the biggest hurdles we activists face. can we defend Roe v. Wade when so many of today's generation don't understand how recent and tenuous our steps toward equality are? I've been alive longer than American women have had legal access to abortion! and I'm only 35 years old!

so, this weekend, I'm slogging through all of this reading by authors who wrote things like, "My good society will have strong individualism amid community. It will have elitism along with populism." [Servant Leadership, Robert K. Greenleaf, pg. 26] the author thinks that society should have elitism? what kind of privileged white male classist bullshit is THAT????!! the professor can't shut up about how great this book is. can you say "scary" ? it's my own fault though. it said right on the professor blurb that he's in the Business Department. (damn linear-thinking pro-capitalists). hmmm, when do you think the best time would be to tell him than I'm a proud working-class anarchist who got arrested at the WTO protest in Seattle? ;~)

But, there is a reason, a larger goal, for all this struggle & strife. so, come tuesday, you can find me in the front row of all my classes, challenging my professors, my fellow students, and, most of all, myself. after all, stepping out of one's comfort zone is the only way to learn, right? and, of course, when I walk into my Peace & Justice class with eight other really awesome progressive thinkers and one of the most wonderful professors I've ever met, everything else I have to do is totally worth it.

peace,
tigger grrl

we didn't bomb Iraq because of oil...

2005-09-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

...no, it's because Saddam Hussein was bad.

riiiiiight! wait, didn't we, like, give him weapons in the 1980s?

this is the most intellegent response to Hummers I've seen. check out the website -- there are over 2000 photos of people flipping off H2s! sweet!

I still get the urge to key them. or at least write on them in Sharpie. well, okay, I haven't actually done that. although I really really really want to. but, damn this morality thing, I just can't do that anymore. I mean, shit, 15 years ago I had no problem breaking...hmm, I'm not sure I want to be self-incriminating here. jail is bad, n'kay? [geesh, I must be getting old.]

but back to the Hummer thing: I tried writing notes and putting them on the windshield, but the frickin things are so big I can't even reach the windshield wipers! I can however put a sticker to their bumper. have you seen those oval sparkly ones they sell at truck stops & crappy stores like Spencer's? you know, the ones that read "Bitch" or "Brat"? yeah, those work really well. almost as obnoxious as the drivers. really hard to get off, too.

well, okay, I don't really put it on the bumper. more like the paint. :~D

if I had any money, I'd get a whole bunch of bumper stickers printed. then I'd go to a mall parking lot and stick them on Hummers, Duallys, trucks with 6-foot tires, and any car with a G.W. Bush sticker. "You Can't Be Both Pro-Life and Own This Car" and "I Could've Bought a Prius for Half the Price" There's always the good ole standby of "My Penis Is Really Really Small", but then again some of these auto-idiots are women, and I'm too much of a feminist to denigrate a woman because of her breast size (but really, that isn't very equal-opportunity of me, now is it?) How about a sticker in honor of the ridiculously large tax breaks for these things, "I'm a Corporate Welfare Mother" ?

One good thing about living in the "poor" neighborhood is that no one can afford a Hummer. even the dealers go for your standard beemer or mercedes. I have to go about 35 blocks west to see those Chevy Tahoes-on-steroids (and why is it that in every city in America the rich folks live on the west side and the poor folks live on the east side?) Instead, I see $500 shit-box pickup trucks held together with duct tape that have $1000 spinner rims, those fat low racing tires that make 'em look like Tonka trucks, and white script letters on the rear window that spell "Sanchez".

peace,

tigger grrl

Hurricane Katrina -- a response from the Buddhist Peace Fellowship

2005-09-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

Sept 2, 2005

The Buddhist Peace Fellowship sends our heartfelt prayers and support to all who have been affected by the Hurricane Katrina.

Yesterday, BPF issued a statement on the disaster and included information on where to send donations. Since then, conditions in New Orleans have become more desperate by the moment. Your response after the tsunami in Asia last December was extremely generous. We encourage you to contribute to help those in New Orleans and other parts of the U.S. South in whatever way that you can.

Please click the link above to read BPF's full statement on the disaster, and for a list of aid organizations as well as how to offer housing to those in need.

Buddhist Peace Fellowship
e-newsletter editor

Before You Sign, Read Paragraph 9

2005-08-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

One of the things I do is counter- recruitment. "What's that?" is a question I get a lot. At its most basic, CR is a counterpoint to the military's recuiters. But it's much much more than that. It's a movement that recognizes that the U.S.' "voluntary" military is one that is comprised disproportionately of poor kids, urban kids, rural kids, kids of color, kids who see few (or zero) other ways of achieving the "American Dream".

As a parent, one of the easiest things you should do is to sign and return your child's "Opt-Out" form by the deadline (generally the end of September). President Bush's No Child Left Behind act says that unless their parents opt-out, every high school in the U.S. MUST turn over the contact information for all students of junior or senior standing to the military. The military will then harass your child, (really, it is harassment) with telephone calls and home visits, until he or she signs on the dotted line. Military recruiters are the first used-car salesmen most of your kids will ever encounter. They say whatever they need to. They'll even put it "in writing" in the Enlistment Contract. Which seems like a great thing. "Hey, Mom, it's okay -- the recruiter said I'll never have to go to Iraq. I'll be stationed in Germany, and learn how to program computers." Uh-huh. Becha bottom dollar that your child's eyes will not be pointed toward the Enlistment Agreement's "Paragraph 9":

"Law and regulations that govern military personnel may change without notice to me. Such changes may affect my status, pay, allowances, benefits, and responsibilities as a member of the Armed Forces REGARDLESS of the provisions of the enlistment/reenlistment document."

if you want more infor on counter-recruitment, check out United for Peace and Justice, the American Friends Service Committee's Youth & Militarism program, or, if you are in Colorado, contact the Counter Recruitment Information Network of Denver at crin.denver@gmail.com.

peace,
tigger grrl

Bork Bork Bork!

2005-08-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

I am a child of the 70s. I'm not sure, actually, how someone could be more a child of the 70s. I grew up on a commune. it was a 200-year-old farmhouse. with a managerie of chickens, goats and sheep. I was homeschooled. with kids named "sunshine", "kofi", and "rain". when I was old enough to name one of our many pets, I chose "carter", after the president. according to my mother, I was conceived at Woodstock. (considering I was born about nine months later, it's entirely possible.) I swear that when I was about six, I drank mushroom tea. (upon reflection, I don't think the "dream" I remember that involved an old man with the voice of Vincent Price laughing at me for pulling my eyeball out because I wanted to see the back of it was really a dream).

and, btw, those PSAs that talk about pot being a "gateway" drug -- aarrggh! my earliest memory (3 years old or so) is when my thigh was burned by ash from a joint that was passed over me. I didn't even try anything harder until I was in my 30s! kids (and parents) -- drugs that occur naturally on the planet earth are Mother Nature's way of keepin us real. just stay the fuck away from crack, meth, & all the other freaky shit that involve household cleaners and urban decay.

anyhoot, there was only one television in the large farmhouse we all lived in. it wasn't on often -- just a few hours a day -- Walter Cronkite for the adults and Seseame Street for the kids. and for the miniseries "Roots". a few times some of us kids stayed up really late and snuck into the room next to the den and peeked in on Saturday Night Live. but we'd inevitably get caught because even piling our hands over each other's mouths couldn't contain our giggles at John Belushi ("Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeps!") or Dan Ackroyd's imitation of Julia Child ("oh look, I've cut the dickens our of my finger") . but we were allowed to claim the couches and eat popcorn in the den at 7.00pm on Wednesdays, for the coolest television show EVER -- The Muppet Show.

everybody loved kermit. I mean, how could you not? but the character that really spoke to me was the Swedish Chef. (hmm, big surprise that I work in kitchens, huh?) even today I can't hold it together when I watch those skits (yes, The Muppet Show is now available on DVD). he was a muppet head with bushy blond eyebrows on a guy wearing a white chef's coat. he would dangle his big human hands from the sleeves and dunk them in water or throw pizza dough in the air. he was a muppet doing dan ackroyd doing julia child. he said "bork bork bork" and "cheekee". sometimes, when I've been tying up poultry for the rotisserie, I imitate him. there is a part of me that wants to be him when I grow up. so, last night I was websurfing, and I found a site that has a Swedish Chef translator.

(1) someone has WAAYYYY too much free time.

(2) that SOOO frickin' cool.

bon appetite! http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

Deenner veell be-a ruested cheeckee, esperoogoos veet Hullundeeese-a sooce-a und a lut ooff red veene-a.

peace,
tigger grrl

Eros & Thanatos

2005-08-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

Guernica, Pablo Picasso (1937)

this is, in my opinion, one of the greatest works of art E-VER! if you don't know the story behind this piece, please please please read the book Picasso's War: The Destruction of Guernica, and the Materpiece That Changed the World by Russell Martin (2002).

now, maybe Picasso isn't your sort of art. okay, I can accept that. it's an aquired taste. but that aspect doesn't really matter. if you are against indiscriminant bombing of people's homes, if you are appalled by the slaughter of innocent human beings, if you abhor facism, then you owe it to yourself to learn about this piece of art. it was Picasso's reaction to Nazi Germany's brutal distruction of the Spanish town of Gernika (the title is spelled "Guernica" because it was it was created for the Paris World's Fair). I'm not saying that you should like this painting. I'm simply saying that it's one of the most important pieces of anti-war art of the 20th century.

I hope you like it.

peace,

tigger grrl

(p.s. for those not versed in Greek mythology, my title, Eros & Thanatos, refers to "Love and Death")

I miss Bill Hicks!

2005-08-27T20:17:00.000-07:00

Bill Hicks. Do ya know who he was? probably not. There is a chapter on him in the book American Rebels (ed. Jack Newfield). It ends with the author wondering what the master of political comedy would have said about all the things that have happened since his death in 1994 (the Clinton-Monica thing, OKC, G.W.) "Dunno. The only certainty is that most Americans still wouldn't know who the hell he is."

Well, friends, please remember that there are many many beautiful brilliant souls out there. Some times we find them inspiring; some times we find them hard against our skin; and sometimes we don't find them at all. Here's a little wisdom from one of my American heroes:

"I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.

"Pick it up."

"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."

"Pick up the gun."

"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."

"Pick up the gun."

(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)

"You all saw him - he had a gun."

Rent, buy or swipe the DVD "Bill Hicks Live" You won't be disappointed.

Unless you're a right-wing nutjob. In which case, why the hell are you reading my blog? I'm already on The List -- Ashcroft will deport me just as soon as he can. While you're waiting, though...

If you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, then go home and burn all your records, all your tapes, and all your CDs because every one of those artists who have made brilliant music and enhanced your lives? RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrEAL fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few songs.

ignorance is bliss. (right?)

2005-08-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

road weary 1999

2005-08-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

In the summer of 1999, I spent three months on the road. I gave up my apartment, give my stuff to friends, and headed out on the closest thing a grrl could get to the railroad cars of days past -- Greyhound. I highly recommend the experience if you need a reality check. Ain't nothin' to distract you when everywhere you're a stranger.

AUGUST 6 10.41 am

Been on this road a month or more --
I'm road weary.
Been sleeping in hostels & Greyhound coaches --
I'm road weary.

The cities are all different,
I always need a map,
yet it's just the same plastic tourist crap --
souveniers of portland, denver d.c., seattle
read "made in canada, or china, or taiwan" on the back.

suffragette city

2005-08-23T15:54:00.000-07:00

hey folks -- friday is the 85th anniversary of the voting act for women!

this is a message to all the women & grrls & womyn, and the men & bois, and the pre-op, post-op & non-op trannies, and the anti-label gender-queers, and the men & bois, and progressive white heterosexual men, and anyone else who feels that their personal identity is not already listed -- no matter whether you think voting is great or you feel that voting is pointless, please take a moment to reflect upon the fact that the ability to vote (for the non-white non-property-owning non-males non-WASP among us) is a very recent thing in our nation's laws.

personally, I'm an anarchist, which means -- probably contrary what you've heard from the long-running smear campaign against us -- that I believe personal responsibility is both a responsibility and personal. I don't believe that I should vote and consider the job done. no no no! voting is the absolute LEAST that each of us can do. we should all be out there, walking more & driving less, looking strangers in the eye & smiling, playing on the swingset in the park, laughing, toiling, getting our hands dirty and feeding our souls.

friday is the 85th anniversary of women clawing their way into voting priviledge. thank you, elizabeth cady stanton, lucretia mott, julia ward howe, susan b. anthony, william lloyd garrison, and every woman who was born before 1920 and had no say in how she was "governed".

friday is the 85th anniversary of the suffragette victory. I'll be having dinner with some of my wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful, loving grrl friends and celebrating my responsibility to vote.

peace

2005-08-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

Nine days until school begins. Not that I'm counting. I don't have any doubts that I really *want* to be in school again, 17 years after high school. But I'm a bit worried about the amount of work I'm supposed to accomplish. I've been trying to get ahead, at least for my Foundations in Peace & Justice class, because it's the one I'm most interested in and, knowing me, I'll put off all my other classes' assignments to focus on this one. One thing about being 35 years old -- I know what I'm most likely to do in a given situation.

My P&J professor is an amazing and wonderful man - Byron Plumley -- who has walked the talk, serving time for protesting at the School of the Americas, working in the soup kitchen of the Catholic Worker. I had always written off "religious" schools, figuring that they all were as right-wing nutjob as Boston College & Brigham Young Univeristy. So I must acknowledge my dear friend Patrice, a Colorado native, who urged me (actually, I think she made me promise) to look at the program of Regis Univeristy. I made an appointment with an admissions counselor, and then I met Byron through my counter-recruitment work. And I was sold. Apparently the Jesuit tradition is very much about dialogue (not dogma) and direct action (not armchair philosphy), two things that speak deeply to me as a Buddhist-Quaker.

The texts Byron chose for this class are all books I would have bought & read anyway:

Chris Hedges -- War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning
Ira Chernus - American Nonviolence: The History of an Idea
CODEPINK - Stop the Next War Now
Pietra Rivoli - The Travels of a T-Shirt in the Global Economy: An Economist Examines the Markets, Power, and Politics of World Trade

If you want a really good primer on nonviolence thought in the U.S., the Chernus book is a great choice. It takes each leader in the movement chronologically, from the Anabaptists to Thich Nhat Hahn. In the chapter on Gandhi, the great Hindi is quoted:
Just as the sea accepts the water of all rivers within itself, purifies it and gives it back again, so you too, if you make yourselves as the sea, will be able to accept all people. ...

which sounds remarkably like the 8th verse of Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching:
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loathe to go
In this way it is just like Tao ...

it's all about connections. as Thich Nhat Hanh says, There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.

off to my Quaker mediatation :~)

walk with the spirits, my friends

three weeks to being back in class

2005-08-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

this is a test.
this is only a test.
had this been a REAL emergency, you would have been instructed to kiss your civil rights goodbye.

but this is only a test.

don't worry -- our government doesn't hate you.

they just want you dead.

or disappeared.

hello, gitmo, here I come! :~)