Bork Bork Bork!

I am a child of the 70s. I'm not sure, actually, how someone could be more a child of the 70s. I grew up on a commune. it was a 200-year-old farmhouse. with a managerie of chickens, goats and sheep. I was homeschooled. with kids named "sunshine", "kofi", and "rain". when I was old enough to name one of our many pets, I chose "carter", after the president. according to my mother, I was conceived at Woodstock. (considering I was born about nine months later, it's entirely possible.) I swear that when I was about six, I drank mushroom tea. (upon reflection, I don't think the "dream" I remember that involved an old man with the voice of Vincent Price laughing at me for pulling my eyeball out because I wanted to see the back of it was really a dream).

and, btw, those PSAs that talk about pot being a "gateway" drug -- aarrggh! my earliest memory (3 years old or so) is when my thigh was burned by ash from a joint that was passed over me. I didn't even try anything harder until I was in my 30s! kids (and parents) -- drugs that occur naturally on the planet earth are Mother Nature's way of keepin us real. just stay the fuck away from crack, meth, & all the other freaky shit that involve household cleaners and urban decay.


anyhoot, there was only one television in the large farmhouse we all lived in. it wasn't on often -- just a few hours a day -- Walter Cronkite for the adults and Seseame Street for the kids. and for the miniseries "Roots". a few times some of us kids stayed up really late and snuck into the room next to the den and peeked in on Saturday Night Live. but we'd inevitably get caught because even piling our hands over each other's mouths couldn't contain our giggles at John Belushi ("Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeps!") or Dan Ackroyd's imitation of Julia Child ("oh look, I've cut the dickens our of my finger") . but we were allowed to claim the couches and eat popcorn in the den at 7.00pm on Wednesdays, for the coolest television show EVER -- The Muppet Show.

everybody loved kermit. I mean, how could you not? but the character that really spoke to me was the Swedish Chef. (hmm, big surprise that I work in kitchens, huh?) even today I can't hold it together when I watch those skits (yes, The Muppet Show is now available on DVD). he was a muppet head with bushy blond eyebrows on a guy wearing a white chef's coat. he would dangle his big human hands from the sleeves and dunk them in water or throw pizza dough in the air. he was a muppet doing dan ackroyd doing julia child. he said "bork bork bork" and "cheekee". sometimes, when I've been tying up poultry for the rotisserie, I imitate him. there is a part of me that wants to be him when I grow up. so, last night I was websurfing, and I found a site that has a Swedish Chef translator.

(1) someone has WAAYYYY too much free time.

(2) that SOOO frickin' cool.


bon appetite! http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

Deenner veell be-a ruested cheeckee, esperoogoos veet Hullundeeese-a sooce-a und a lut ooff red veene-a.

peace,
tigger grrl